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Stonewall Kitchen Ghost Pepper Jelly

We traditionally think of jelly as the gentle brother to papa peanut butter. But this ain't your friendly jelly. It lurks like a ghost in an abandoned flavor mansion, ready to strike fear into the hearts of spice loving buds young and old. Spread on cheese, toast, or chicken to infuse them with power. πŸ™Œ
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Secret Aardvark Sauce Sampler

The hottest thing to emerge from Portland since Carrie Brownstein discovered sketch comedy, this trio of infernal sauces will inject a little pep into any spice-loving friend's step.

Our favorite? The ambrosial Aardvark Habanero Sauce: tangy, Tex-Mexy, with a dash of Caribbean panache, and just mellow enough to splash on anything and everything. The addiction is real. πŸŒΆπŸ’‰

Soylent Cafe Variety Pack

Exams, presentations, and business reports loom like a cackling Drosselmeyer. When stress hits, the first thing to be thrown out are healthy meals. How will your buds survive?

Simple, take the guesswork out of nutrition by giving them Soylent, a delicious meal replacement drink with all the macronutrients and vitamins your friends need to withstand the onslaught of tedium. Endure! πŸ’ͺ

Matcha Green Tea Kit Kats

Friendship enlightenment is elevated by zen snacks. Grab your bud, hike to the top of the nearest mountain, warm some herbal tea, and snap into the highest plane of Kit Kats: Green Tea Matcha. 🍡